So I finally saw Kid Rock for the very first time. I’ve wanted to see him live for so long and it was everything I’d hoped it would be. Originally when I’d heard Kid Rock was coming to town I had plans and wouldn’t even be here. When my plans changed I was really upset but now I’m so glad that I ended up being home because seeing Kid Rock in person was just *amazing* to me.

I didn’t personally take pictures, but my friend who went with me did and I’ll more than likely upload them to MySpace when I get around to it. I had a lot of fun, but didn’t drink or anything. I was the one driving and I absolutely do not drink and drive.

There were so many chicks flashing Kid Rock. It was crazy. My friend flashed him and she tried to get me to do it but that’s really not something I’m comfortable with. lol.. I mean there were tons of chicks flashing and he’s probably seen a million tits I just didn’t think that him not seeing mine would be a big loss to him.

Either way, it was an awesome show. We had really great seats too. It rained just a little bit.. not really much at all and definitely not much to ruin my good time even though we were outdoors. It was just super fun and I’m completely happy with the fact that I was in town and able to go.

Posted in Daily | By: Angela | 0 comments

I smiled for the first time in a long time, and I smiled because I am happy. Finally.

It’s been a few days, but I’ve been pretty busy. Friday I got some really awesome news that totally made my day/life/month/year. I’m not gonna say what the news is, but it was pretty great. I had a smile all weekend because of it.

On Saturday night I went to see 3 Doors Down with a few friends. I had actually won tickets during the week from a local radio station. I was super excited because for one I don’t ever win shit. And for two, I’ve been wanting to see 3 Doors Down live for the longest time. They totally kicked ass and rocked the house but uh.. I must admit I don’t even remember who the opening bands were. They were relatively new and even though they were decent, I wasn’t there to see them.

Anyway, today I finished my Fafsa forms and I also signed up for some classes at San Jac. I’m kinda proud of myself cause I’ve been wanting to go back to school for quite some time and just never did. I had wanted to wait until Eric is in school and he’s going to the 4th grade now so I figure it’s been long enough. I’m kind of excited about it, to be honest.

I’m PMS’ing right now, and to be quite honest it’s not nearly as bad as it has been in the past few months. I think it’s because now that I know about that PMDD shit, I know what to expect and I can kind of control it a little bit better. Hopefully, anyway. But right now, other than really bad cramping and some major dizzy spells I’m doing alright and my mood isn’t nearly as bad as it could be. This is a good thing.

I changed my “private” entries here to “password protected” because even though they are posted on livejournal for my lj friends to read, I figured it’d be better this way. There will still be private posts but they will not actually show up at all, so no one will even know. That’s the way I like it.

I’ve got a lot more I want to write about but I need to get some work done and some other things going on right now so I’ll get back to this later.

Posted in Daily | By: Angela | 4 comments

If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people. – Virginia Woolfe

I had this whole long blog written up, about how childish you are and how cruel you are. I called you out on all your lies, wrote up details, the whole bit. Then I decided that I’m better than that. I’m better than you. I will not stoop to your level. The fact is, you can live your lies. Have your delusions of grandeur, try to convince yourself that you’re better than everyone and that you “have your shit together”. You have forgotten that I know the real you. I saw through your lies, your life, all of it. You can pretend for the internet that your life is so grand. That you get laid, that you have money and have your shit together. You and I know the truth and that’s good enough for me.

Posted in Briston, Thoughtful | By: Angela | 2 comments

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Posted in Briston, Livejournal, Private | By: Angela | Enter your password to view comments

To be brave is to love someone unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. To just give. That takes courage, because we don’t want to fall on our faces or leave ourselves open to hurt. – Madonna

So, today was a hectic day and here I am blogging again. I’ve just had alot on my mind lately I guess. Anyway, man I can’t believe how hot it has been lately. Today was like 103. Horrible. When it’s hot like that though, for some reason I like to ride around with the windows down and the sun roof open but my sun roof crapped out and wouldn’t open a while back. Today when I picked Eric up from VBS he pushed the button and it opened again! Yay. (Nerd)

I’ve been doing alot of thinking about stuff lately and when I came home earlier this evening something kind of hit me and put some stuff into perspective for me. I don’t have anything to “look forward to”. I mean when I was with my ex, I felt like I had so much to look forward to.. like him calling me on his way home from work or our little talks before he passed out, and then the fact that we were gonna spend the first half of the summer together. Now I don’t have that to look forward to.

That’s okay though. I know that it’s not the end of the world and I know that life goes on and everything’s going to be fine. I’m going to be just fine. One of these days, anyway. Until then I will just survive.

Anyway, I think I’m addicted to this buddy poke thing on Myspace. Literally I was just about to delete Myspace until Cetta told me to add this app and it’s SO FUNNY. I love how you can make your little character do the funniest shit and you can actually create gif files of it. LOL. This is me farting on Cetta.

It’s like the only reason I even use MySpace anymore. I love it.

Posted in Daily, Gibberish, Life, Random, Thoughtful | By: Angela | 0 comments

I guess I’m just in a writing type of mood the last couple of days. I don’t know why, but I feel like I have a lot to say for some reason. Not that I’m very interesting, nor does what I say even really matter but still here I am typing away on the keyboard again.

I think this is all part of the healing process for me. This makes me feel good in a way because it means I am starting to get better. I don’t know to what degree or extent, but I do know that if I keep busy with stuff (including blogging) then I think about certain stuff less and less. If I think about it less, maybe it will go away, right?

I’m doing what I said I was going to do, though. I’m eliminating people from my life who are detrimental to my well being in any way, shape or form. The first to go are the overly friendly, flirty and downright pushy guys who can’t take no for an answer. I sometimes feel that all guys read from some stupid handbook or something. It’s just amazing to me how the same shit comes out of every one of their mouths.

I went through my phone this afternoon and removed everyone I didn’t really need to have contact with anymore. It was kind of depressing, but it had to be done. I decided also to take a break from hanging out with certain people for awhile. I don’t agree with a lot of things that some of my so-called friends do and how they act so I just figure I’d distance myself from them. I don’t need people in my life who are going to bring me down like that.

Anyway, I gotta get ready to go to the grocery store. Oh, yay.

Posted in Daily, Life | By: Angela | 2 comments

I see you leaning, you’re bound to fall.
I don’t wanna be that mistake.
I’m just a dreamer, nothing more.
You should know it before it gets too late…

I guess I was pretty pissed off when I wrote up that last post. Honestly, though, it’s exactly how I feel about some people and I really felt it needed to be said. I sometimes think I am too nice, though, but a lot of it is just that it’s unbelievable how some people present themselves and I know that if I say anything to them about it I’ll get the typical response of “I’m just joking.” or “Don’t flatter yourself.”, and stuff like that. Whatever. I am just tired of it.

I know there are a few people I have gotten sort of close to online and offline lately and they probably wonder why I am becoming more and more distant. I try to explain in the nicest way possible that I am only interested in friendship with them and I get the same response.. “That’s all I want, too.” But if that’s true then why are you telling me you “have a crush on me”, or that you “like me a lot”? I get so uncomfortable when people flirt with me, and you’d think they’d get a clue when I don’t encourage their advances but I guess men/guys/boys are just dumb.

I know that it’s easy to feel close to someone if you talk to them a lot, but I have been very clear on where I stand and I just think it’s not only rude but unfair to me that anyone would even “catch feelings” or whatever. We all want to feel cared about, that’s just human. I can care about someone and let them care about me without anything romantic or sexual being involved.. it’s called being friends and I don’t understand why everyone else seems to have a problem with that.

I just don’t know how to be any clearer. I am not interested in a relationship at all, with anyone. There’s no need to hope, talk about it, think about it or hint at it because it’s not happening. And the truth is that even if I was interested in the least, I am unable to give to anyone what they would need or want.

It’s dangerous to get close to me. Anyone who gets close to me or catches feelings for me is going to end up getting hurt so just stay away. Again, I don’t see how I can be any more clear on the matter. Give up, move on.. let it go. It’s not going to happen.

I might sometimes giggle, laugh it off or whatever, that’s just me. That’s how I act when I get uncomfortable about something, and the advances make me uncomfortable. I also feel that if you have some sort of “motive” like to get with me or make me like you then you apparently aren’t really a friend and are at this point a waste of time for me. I am not going to invest any more time into talking to people who I don’t think are really my friend or who don’t have my best interests in mind.

I refrained from making blog entries about this subject before because it makes me seem really stuck up and egotistical, but any female who looks moderately decent and isn’t an obnoxious cunt obviously knows that most men are desperate losers who can’t seem to take no for an answer.

Some may think this is some sort of self centered ego trip or whatever, think what you will. I am simply fed up with assholes and losers trying to get in my pants, hook up with me, date me, all of that shit. The bottom line is if you aren’t him I’m not interested and just because we are not together doesn’t mean I’m going to settle. Settling isn’t fair to me or to the other person involved anyway. Just look at it like this, I’m trying to avoid anyone getting hurt.

I’m not emotionally available. I am not interested in anything more than friendship with anyone and I am removing anyone from my life who cannot seem to get that through their head.

That is all.

Posted in Daily, Ranting, Relationships, Thoughtful | By: Angela | 0 comments

Why is it that when a female is nice to a guy he starts to get fucking stupid. What happened to just being friends? Are all guys just that desperate and pathetic anymore? God, do I have to just be a raging bitch to everyone? Right, I forgot that doesn’t work either, cause then I get “oh you’re feisty.. i like that”. Give me a break, already. And I thought it was just online guys but more recently I’ve began to notice just how pathetic guys are in general.

So if you get hurt because your feelings are not reciprocated, don’t blame me assholes. I have told you repeatedly I only want to be friends. I have made it abundantly clear that I am not over my ex, and that I am still very much in love with him. I have TOLD YOU, but you still choose to come at me all stupid. So blame your damn self if you are hurt or heartbroken. I am not responsible.

I’ve been getting complaints lately of how I’m “distant” or acting like I am being bothered. Well, the truth is I feel I have to be distant and sometimes I AM BOTHERED. Why do men constantly need reassurance? And what the hell am I supposed to be reassuring you of? That I don’t mind that you constantly flirt with me? That I enjoy being told repeatedly that you like me? That you want to “date” me? How about this..Leave me the fuck alone. Is that clear enough for you to understand?

I do not want you. None of you. No one. I don’t give a damn if this comes off as conceited or stuck up. I don’t care how anyone reading this takes it. I am simply NOT INTERESTED. I have tried to be nice about this. I have tried to laugh it off, make jokes.. and completely avoid the whole topic but it keeps getting brought up.

Is it the challenge that interests you idiots the most? Is it my disinterest that turns you on? Do you think that if you somehow can get my attention, or get me to like you that it will make you special??? I mean, what is it exactly. Someone please tell me because I am at my wit’s end with this shit. Seriously.

IF YOU ARE SITTING THERE READING THIS AND WONDERING IF IT’S ABOUT YOU.. WELL THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE TO WONDER SAYS IT ALL. YES. IT IS ABOUT YOU. YOU, YOU AND YOU. ALL OF YOU DESPERATE LOSERS WHO WON’T LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.

How’s that for rejection? Now get lost.

Posted in Daily, Random, Ranting | By: Angela | 4 comments

I don’t care where your gonna be next year. I don’t care if you’re crazy. I just know I want to be with you. I don’t understand what your doing. It seems so pointless, I mean everything seems so pointless but when I’m with you its different, and i don’t know why.

I found a really interesting plugin that allows for audio (posting, music.. etc) to be added to a blog post so I thought I’d give it a go. I’m pretty nerdy like that, which if you listen to this you’ll see for yourself. So anyway here’s my first audio post.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Posted in Audio Post, Daily, Life, eric, family | By: Angela | 1 comment

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Posted in Livejournal, Thoughtful, love | By: Angela | Enter your password to view comments